Oct 18th

I know it has been awhile since I last posted but it has been busy here in Florida. David had homecoming week worth of activities and then the following week was my week at school of homecoming activities. Then this past week...I think I was just plane worn out and I went to sleep early everynight. Guess I needed my sleep.

Last weekend a friend mentioned a book for me to read, The Shack and then another mentioned a movie to go see :Fireproof. So, on Monday I bought the book and started reading it & Friday I went to the movie (with Niel) of course.

First, the book was wonderful. I recommend it as a MUST read. It mainly deals with someone that deals with a major lost in their life and moving forward. Even if you have never lost a loved one...I recommend the book. We have all experienced some type of lost: Lost of a loved one, a friend, a divorce, loss of job....something we ask God..why me? This book helps this person get through their loss but it also opens up ones eyes that one can not move forward without forgiving those that have wronged us or even who we feel have wronged us. It also explains that forgiveness does not mean that you will forget but forgiveness means you can move forward with you life. God wants all of us to move forward in our life. I told Niel this morning, that I never could have moved forward in my life if I had not forgiven Bob for what he did to me. That does not mean I have totally forgotten the hurt he caused but I have forgiven him and as I move forward in life, the hurt does slowly disappear. I am only mentioning this to help others. If you have someone in your life that has wronged you or you think has wronged you...you need to forgive them to move forward in your life. God can use something bad that happens in our life for something good.

Second, the movie...I totally recommend this movie. At first I was really leary about it....it is about a couple thinking about a divorce and how they use this program Love Dare to slowly work it out....it saves their marriage. I was leary because those that know my past, know that Bob & I had done a type of Love Dare program through a Christian outreach. It was to save our marriage. Obviously it did not work but as I look back on it and I realize it did not work because we both were not working at it. Bob's heart had already been given to someone else. His heart was not in it...it is not all his fault, that is just what it is. But I did learn some wonderful helps to use in a marriage and this movie reenforced some of the same ideas. But in all honesty...when you put someone above your own needs, they do turn around and love you more. Mates just want to know that you love them unconditionally.You see that in older couples when they are taking care of each other. I see it when my dad goes in the bathroom to dry my mother's back because she has a hard time doing that. I see it when Dad Schmidt planned the most awesome surprise birthday party for Mom Schmidt. It is putting your mates needs above your own because you love them so dearly. In the movie the dad of the couple reminded me of Dad Schmidt...a dad that truly cares and is there for his kids. As we were leaving, Niel said, who did the dad remind you of....I said Dad Schmidt...he said me too.

Today....Niel & I went to a friend of our's dad's memorial service. I did not know Ron's dad but I knew what a wonderful man Ron was, so I knew his dad had to be one fantastic guy. After sitting through a very moving memorial service, I was right. It was really emotional, as my friend and his brother got up to talk about their dad. What great influenced he had been in their life...how he helped guide them to be the men they are today. It makes one wonder what ones own kids will say at their memorial service. All I know is I have done the best I could and hopefully they will have nice stories to tell about me...but more important, I sure do want them to play music at my service. I want Brian to play "An Old Rugged Cross" on his sax....I want Mark to do a drum solo, and I want David to sing I think "I can Fly".....I might start laughing in heavin because I will remember him doing the skit he did this year to that song...but at my memorial service I would like him to do it normal. He has such a nice voice.

This weekend has been relaxing and an eye opener. Open to good things and do some deep thoughts..but that is okay. We all need some self evaluation...especially if we want to better ourselves...which I hope we all do....I know I sure do. I want to be the best daughter, the best wife, the best mother, the best friend, and most important the best Christian God wants me to be.